She announced her abortion via fbk
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
