remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
