She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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