I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
