thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize