I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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