One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
