turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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