Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
