I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
