Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
