For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
