Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
