xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
