Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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