I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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