Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
