and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't you send me to vm
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
