Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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