she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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