Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize