we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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