I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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