Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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