also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
