The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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