I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
