the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
