you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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