I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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