guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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