you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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