I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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