tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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