We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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