i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
