STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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