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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but fathers day is next sunday

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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• (972): View more from Texas

  The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god those aren't related

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.

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• (315): View more from New York

  well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents

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• (747): View more from California

  Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...

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