dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
