her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
