First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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