Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
