Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
