Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
