I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
