I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
