We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
