We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dick has a subreddit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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