i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
