I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
