So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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