I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We have started to decorate penises.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
